By Betty Ferrell
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Not only were participants a long way from their homes, all having traveled to a national center for BMT, their social isolation was increased by the need for strict reverse isolation procedures. The number of their visitors was limited, and skin-to-skin touching was prohibited. Oddly enough, this isolation was accompanied by an almost total loss of privacy. The participants were often so ill or so incapacitated that they required help with the most intimate aspects of their lives including toileting and hygiene.
She also recognized that his smoking was the probable cause of his cancer, and she admitted to "nagging" him about quitting. As she developed this story of their life together, her grief abated. The second task of grieving for these caregivers was to reknit the family that was torn apart by the death. If a family is understood not in terms of the usual social science metaphor of a system, but rather as a group of people who share in the same life stories, it is easy to understand the necessity for this task.
Although suffering is assumed to be a universal human experience, across cultures ways of responding to suffering in oneself and in others vary considerably. Differences in perceptions, expectations, and overt behaviors can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings when people from different cultural backgrounds come together in a context of suffering. Misunderstandings and conflicting images of suffering make it easy to isolate those who are different or to treat them in dehumanizing ways through use of stereotypes and denigrating labels.
Suffering by Betty Ferrell